Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Trending via Discord:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Making waves on Threads:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Going viral on Instagram:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Trending via Slack:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Breaking via Threads:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"

clueless, end, family, family life, humor, humor quote, kids, life, marriage, minute, organization, parenting, people, plan, planning, schedules, types

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

0

2 months ago

age, decision, humor, i, mean, means, money, regret, spending, tattoo, trust, youth
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

0

2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

0

5 months ago

confusion, everyone, humor, i, kiss, kisses, love, question, relationship, where
Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, humor, listen, Netflix, relationship, subtitle, watch, women
Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

0

2 months ago

aging, face, forehead, humor, side, time, wrinkle
Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

0

2 months ago

broke, city, enough, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, life, perspective, place, struggle, urban, urban life, walkable, walkable city

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

33 shares on X this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Dear Santa, Money!

Making waves on X:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Live now on WeChat:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨