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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Just shared via Reddit:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Trending via Facebook:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Breaking via Slack:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Spotted on WeChat:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Trending via Messenger:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about choosing to truly live and rescue oneself from emptiness.

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Commentary:
Revive-a-cide: when you heroically save yourself from eternal boredom with a side of excitement! 🌟😄🚀

decision, life, living, meaninglessness, opposite, own, rescue, someone, start, suicide, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

42 shares on Twitch this month:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Just landed via WeChat:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Going viral on TikTok:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Live now on Messenger:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

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Activity Log ✨

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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