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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Trending via Messenger:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Trending via Twitch:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Making waves on Telegram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Just landed via WeChat:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

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There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.
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Commentary:
Misery must have great snacks if everyone keeps getting invited! 🍿😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

73 shares on X this month:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Social media is mental suicide.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Going viral on WeChat:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Just landed via Slack:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Spotted on X:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Just shared via Slack:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Trending via YouTube:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

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