They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.