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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has shared:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s β€œincredible.” When I do it I’m β€œcausing a scene” and β€œneed to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Blink if you want me!

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,762

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via LinkedIn:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

God, please β€” if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Going viral on TikTok:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Live now on Slack:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Trending via Slack:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Making waves on Slack:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Just shared via TikTok:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Making waves on Facebook:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Just landed via Discord:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Going viral on Slack:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

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They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I'm on their do-not-en-banh mi list! πŸžπŸš«πŸ˜‚ #PhoRealTho"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

49 shares on X this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,889

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Asking a film guy, β€œWho is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Your pronouns are β€œside/chick”.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has viewed:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has shared:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has copied:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with β€œAnd I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has shared:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has viewed:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Instagram:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Just landed via Threads:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Making waves on Discord:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Making waves on Pinterest:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Shared recently on X:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Seen just now on Reddit:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Live now on Slack:

I remember sex. That was cool.

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