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Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

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3,929

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Shared recently on Slack:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"When I upgrade to that version of life, I'll read the instructions! 📚🤔😂"

confusion, doing, humor, i, invent, know, life, self-awareness, should, uncertainty, where, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

2 months ago
advice, birthday, forget, forgetting, humor, just, marriage, never, relationship, sure, want, wife
I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

1 month ago
desire, feminism, humor, i, irony, modern, relationship, upsetting, want, ways
I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

1 month ago
character, empathy, Futurama, humor, i, mean, sad, show, TV, TV Show, whenever, Zoidberg
If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

2 months ago
actually, creature, humor, joke, mythical, mythical creature, pun, realize, supernatural, transformation, unawarewolf, werewolf
Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

2 months ago
excuse, excuse me, humor, manners, me, owner, pet, pet owner, politeness, rude, say, walk, walking, walking by
The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

1 month ago
better, budgeting, communicate, coupon, humor, me, needs, personality, self-talk, shopping, store

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Breaking via Reddit:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Just shared via WeChat:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Going viral on Twitch:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Shared recently on X:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

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Activity Log ✨

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

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They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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