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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

34 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Live now on Discord:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Breaking via Facebook:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Trending via Pinterest:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Spotted on Twitch:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Making waves on Facebook:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

4 months ago

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic holiday dilemma: trading one mess for another in the name of festive cheer! Who needs a spotless house when you can have a beautifully chaotic display of holiday decorations instead? It's the perfect excuse to put off cleaning and embrace the merry madness of the season!

activity, creative, creative solution, daily, daily mess, decor, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday decor, humor, ignoring, ignoring mess, mess, new, procrastination, solution, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

34 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Fries, not lies.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Freshly posted on X:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Trending via Threads:

I’m running out of people I like.

Spotted on Instagram:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going viral on YouTube:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

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