Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Live now on Threads:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Live now on Reddit:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Trending via WeChat:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Spotted on Threads:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Live now on Facebook:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Going viral on YouTube:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

1 week ago

Witty text about procrastinating household chores with holiday decorating plans.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic holiday dilemma: trading one mess for another in the name of festive cheer! Who needs a spotless house when you can have a beautifully chaotic display of holiday decorations instead? It's the perfect excuse to put off cleaning and embrace the merry madness of the season!

activity, creative, creative solution, daily, daily mess, decor, fun, fun activity, holiday, holiday decor, humor, ignoring, ignoring mess, mess, new, procrastination, solution, thinking

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

67 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Just landed via X:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Live now on YouTube:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Going viral on WeChat:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Spotted on Reddit:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Going viral on Reddit:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

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