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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Trending via WhatsApp:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Breaking via TikTok:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Broadcasted on Threads:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Going viral on Telegram:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Spotted on WeChat:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about a cop parked illegally with flashing lights, playful and witty tone.

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Commentary:
Looks like he's auditioning for a role in the next Fast & Furious movie! 🚓🎬😂

confrontation, cop, going, humor, illegal, illegal parking, lights, me, parked, parking, police, sarcasm, say, something, traffic

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55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

24 shares on Slack this month:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Going bananas on Discord:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Just landed via Reddit:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Just landed via X:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Going viral on Reddit:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Breaking via Slack:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Going viral on Facebook:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

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Activity Log ✨

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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