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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Jan 11, 2026

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Going viral on Telegram:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Just landed via Threads:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Going viral on Messenger:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Trending via Facebook:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Making waves on Instagram:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

This email could’ve been sex.

3 days ago

This email could’ve been sex.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we need a new category: NSFW (Not Suitable For Waiting 🤪📧💌)

communication, email, humor, life, message, modern, modern life, procrastination, relationship, sex

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

2 months ago

cool, even, frustration, humor, i, ID, joke, know, landlubber, life, lose, losing, losing cool, me, nautical, sailor, sailor joke, sarcastic, sea, sea life
I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

2 months ago

communication, humor, i, joke, only, speak, squeak, witty, wordplay
Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

2 months ago

bath, care, day, dog, dog owner, funny moment, knowing, looking, lovingly, moment, owner, pet, pet care, pet owner, ruin, ruin day
Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

2 months ago

ahead, bar, bar culture, bartender, culture, drinks, humor, put, receipt, service, wet
Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

2 months ago

Bolognese, celebration, cooking, everyone, humor, ingredient, irony, meat, minced, minced meat, sauce, secret, secret ingredient, vegan
If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

2 months ago

close, distance, forefinger, friendship, head, humor, i, keep, mime, preference, relationships, squishing, thumb

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

27 shares on Discord this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

29 shares on WeChat this month:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Spotted on X:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Live now on Facebook:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Shared recently on Slack:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Just shared via Slack:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Just shared via WeChat:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Just shared via YouTube:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Making waves on Facebook:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴