Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Seen just now on Threads:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Making waves on Facebook:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Going viral on Facebook:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting gender bias with a humorous, sassy tone.

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Commentary:
Looks like someone skipped their "kindness to men" class! 😂🙅‍♀️

am, attitude, humor, i, irony, kind, kindness, man, men, world

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Long story short, I survived.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Making waves on YouTube:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Just landed via X:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Going viral on Threads:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨