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Commentary:
"Looks like 2022 forgot its manners and needs a time-out! 🙈 Let's hope it learns to behave before we let it back in the party 💃🎉 #YearlyBehaviorIssues"

act, act right, feel, humor, left, left outside, needs, outside, right, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

0

2 months ago

cannon, history, humor, i, inventor, irony, know, relief, t-shirt, weapon
Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

0

2 months ago

deactivation, detox, digital, digital detox, fix, humor, Instagram, life, media, nothing, social, social media
I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

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2 months ago

again, daily, daily life, decision, fall, humor, i, jeans, life, lifestyle, morning, morning routine, over, parkour, routine, struggle
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad habit, habit, habits, humor, laziness, mother, respect, should
My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

0

2 months ago

comedy, doing, dry, humor, joke, PowerPoint, presentation, skin
Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

0

3 months ago

agreement, communication, decision, half, humor, i, mistake, problem, problems, regret, said, saying, saying yes, sure, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

76 shares on X this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Just landed via Instagram:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Freshly posted on X:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Going viral on Discord:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Just landed via Discord:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Live now on Threads:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨