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I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

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If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

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I’m tired of things costing money.

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My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

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I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

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I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

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Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

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People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

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The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

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I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?