Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,947

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Making waves on Slack:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Seen just now on Threads:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Going viral on Twitch:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Live now on Discord:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Trending via TikTok:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Just landed via Threads:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Making waves on YouTube:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you think you're on a romantic stroll but accidentally sign up for a marathon 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️💨

dating, exercise, fitness, girl, humor, i, interaction, me, noticed, run, today, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails
How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, air, exist, food, fry, humor, hunger, irony, satire, world, world hunger
“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

0

2 months ago

actually, culture, entertainment, humor, i, irony, movie, need, news, pop, pop culture, reality, tried, villain, watching, where
Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

0

2 months ago

automated, automated phone system, call, customer, customer service, digit, digits, enter, frustration, humor, joke, math, math humor, phone, phone call, Pi, please, representative, service, speak, system
Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

0

2 months ago

cicada, humor, i, insects, mind, nature, scream, sound, summer
Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

0

2 months ago

counseling, health, humor, letting, life, manager, mental, mental health, relief, self-care, speak, stress, stress relief, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

23 shares on Slack this month:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

20 shares on Threads this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Trending via Slack:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Just shared via Messenger:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Making waves on Messenger:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Spotted on Facebook:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Just shared via X:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Just landed via YouTube:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Making waves on Snapchat:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Trending via Facebook:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨