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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Going viral on Reddit:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Spotted on Twitch:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Spotted on Slack:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Breaking via TikTok:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just shared via Twitch:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Witty quote about dating bias, playful and humorous text with clever humor.
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Commentary:
"When it comes to ugly, it takes two to tango… and I'm sitting this dance out! 💃🚫 #TangoNoGo"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Just landed via Facebook:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Shared recently on Threads:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Just shared via Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

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