Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Trending via Twitch:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Trending via YouTube:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Just shared via WeChat:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Spotted on Twitch:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Just shared via Messenger:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Live now on X:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Paying tuition just for my bookshelf to get more friends 📚🤓💸

class, education, humor, paid, sarcasm, self learning, student, teaching, tuition, university, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

40 shares on Slack this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

39 shares on Messenger this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Freshly posted on Threads:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Spotted on Discord:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Live now on Telegram:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Breaking via WeChat:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Breaking via Threads:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Seen just now on Slack:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨