Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Just shared via X:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Reported on Discord:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Reported on X:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Just shared via Facebook:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Just shared via Twitch:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ready to tackle my day of rethinking last week’s cringy moments! 🥱🤔🔄

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,949

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,949

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Seen just now on Instagram:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Reported on Facebook:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Just shared via X:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Facebook:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Spotted on YouTube:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Just landed via Instagram:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴