Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

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My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

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A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

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When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

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Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

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She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.