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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Making waves on Facebook:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Spotted on X:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Trending via YouTube:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Shared recently on Telegram:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Spotted on Slack:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like my sarcasm translator is about to hit overdrive! 🤪😂📱

communication, contact, humor, irony, media, misunderstanding, person, social, social media, understand, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

0

2 months ago

9, cloud, cloud 9, expectations, fall, high, high place, humor, irony, life, perspective, place
“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

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2 months ago

again, communication, goodbye, humor, interaction, intimacy, irony, never, person, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, something, speaking
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

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6 months ago

hate, home, i, job, jobs, me, much, once, people, quitting, vlog, watch, wish, wishing, work
I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

0

2 months ago

direction, every, GPS, hour, humor, i, joke, life, navigation, recalculation, technology, told
When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

0

2 months ago

comedy, dream, film, humor, movie, question, sequence
If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

0

2 months ago

after, afterlife, cremated, cremation, death, die, family, family game night, game, game piece, hourglass, humor, night, nights, participation, piece, put, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Slack this month:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Breaking via Facebook:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Going viral on Threads:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨