Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Just shared via Telegram:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Trending via Slack:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Just shared via Facebook:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Going viral on Telegram:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Going viral on Threads:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Seen just now on X:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a perk of aging! Turning 40 just upgraded my excuse game to expert level! 🎉🛋️🚫

40s, adulthood, age, excuse, friend, help, humor, joke, move, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

0

2 months ago

buttons, downs, elevator, family, humor, kids, love, parenting, parenting struggles, push, push buttons, struggles, ups, ups and downs
A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

0

2 months ago

dad, funny situation, humor, lineup, police, recognition, situation, sneeze
My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, everyday, forgetfulness, hand, holding, humor, looking, me, move, phone, relatability, self-deprecating, signature, smartphone, tech
My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

0

2 months ago

checklist, dating, humor, relationship, standards, Unabomber
A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

0

4 months ago

conversation, humor, interaction, interview, job, job interview, liar, social, social interaction, workplace
Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

0

2 months ago

artisan, getting, humor, kind, migraine, migraneur, nice, pain, recognition, suffering, term, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

77 shares on Slack this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

50 shares on X this month:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Long story short, I survived.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

32 shares on Threads this month:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Trending via YouTube:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Spotted on Messenger:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Just shared via Discord:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Live now on Threads:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Freshly posted on X:

I would prefer not to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨