Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Just shared via Facebook:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Making waves on WeChat:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

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Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.
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Commentary:
Welcome to your 40's, where you're in the prime of life but also suddenly realizing that time has been playing some sneaky tricks on you! 🕰️😄 Embrace it, own it, and don't forget to double-check your birth certificate just to make sure! #AgeIsJustANumber #Feeling40AndFabulous

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

56 shares on Threads this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Going viral on Twitch:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Going bananas on Telegram:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Just landed via Threads:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Making waves on Discord:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Going viral on X:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

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