Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.