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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Trending via Reddit:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Shared recently on X:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Spotted on Messenger:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Trending via Messenger:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

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Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.
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Commentary:
Welcome to your 40's, where you're in the prime of life but also suddenly realizing that time has been playing some sneaky tricks on you! 🕰️😄 Embrace it, own it, and don't forget to double-check your birth certificate just to make sure! #AgeIsJustANumber #Feeling40AndFabulous

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

62 shares on X this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

89 shares on X this month:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Weirdos gonna weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Spotted on Reddit:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Seen just now on Facebook:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Just shared via Reddit:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Shared recently on Threads:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Making waves on TikTok:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Going bananas on Slack:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Just landed via Instagram:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

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