Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Spotted on WeChat:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Breaking via Telegram:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Spotted on Telegram:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Making waves on Slack:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you took "vintage" a bit too seriously! 😂👵🏼 Bet they didn't know your true value! #AntiqueShowAntics

antique, auction, bidding, humor, joke, me, observation, people, self-deprecation, show

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

0

5 months ago

always, dating, gender, human, humans, humor, interaction, little, man, mean, men, relationship, sleep, think, treat
Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

0

2 months ago

conversation, feeling, guilt, guilty, humor, myself, personal, reflection, self, session, taking, talking, therapy
My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

0

2 months ago

frustration, gift, holiday, humor, husband, i, marriage, me, pissed, prank, put, remote, tree, under
If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

0

3 weeks ago

air, annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, finger, finger quotation, humor, interaction, introduction, job, job title, little, prank, quotation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, someone, title
Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

0

5 months ago

bedroom, bone, card, child, credit, credit card, decorated, decoration, flirt, humor, looks, messy, messy room, room, sorry, still, want
Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

0

2 months ago

activity, apocalypse, dreaming, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, night, nights, Saturday, show, shows, watching, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Making waves on TikTok:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Going viral on Reddit:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Just landed via Facebook:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Freshly posted on X:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Going viral on YouTube:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Going viral on YouTube:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨