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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Just shared via Facebook:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Shared recently on X:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Trending via Threads:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Trending via Discord:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m sick of living through history!

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.
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Commentary:
🎬 Surprise Movie Night: Because who doesn't love an impromptu midweek movie mystery challenge? 🕵️‍♂️🍿

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Just shared via YouTube:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Spotted on X:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Live now on Slack:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

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