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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.
  • HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.
  • Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.
  • A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.
  • I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.
  • Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.