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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

32 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Seen just now on X:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Reported on TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Live now on Twitch:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

2 months ago

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

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Commentary:
Looks like when I’m president, Thursdays are getting a promotion! 🗳️🎉 Who needs a weekend when you can have a double day off? 😎🇺🇸 Let’s make “Thursday extensions” the new national policy—because everyone deserves a little extra weekend magic! ✨🛌

balance, extension, Friday, holiday, humor, i, joke, politics, president, public, Thursday, weekend, work life, work-life balance

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

32 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Just landed via Discord:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Breaking via Messenger:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Shared recently on Slack:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Making waves on WeChat:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Just shared via YouTube:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

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