Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Going viral on X:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Seen just now on Discord:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Going viral on Telegram:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Trending via Messenger:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Live now on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

2 months ago

0

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of noodles to pasta and finally to carbs – a enthralling culinary journey from simplicity to sophistication… or shall we say, from childhood delight to adult indulgence! 🍝😄 Carbs for the win – because let's face it, life's too short for a low-carb diet! 🍴🎉"

carbs, childhood, diet, eat, food, humor, i, kid, noodles, only, pasta, point, still, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

0

2 months ago

honesty, humor, irony, know, lie, people, think, time, truth
Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

0

2 months ago

clumsiness, falling, grace, gracefully, head, humor, mastery, practice, repetition
Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

0

2 months ago

bad, bathroom, combination, having, household, humor, inconvenience, joke, outside, practical, practical joke, sibling, switch
Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

0

2 months ago

bite, foot, government, humor, kind, know, literally, mosquito, mosquito bite, pleasure, scratching, secret, sensation, stuff, want
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, even, feel, forget, getting, hectic, humor, life, life balance, lose, much, never, overwhelming, perspective, phone, phone time, priorities, relief, sight, stress, stress relief, things, time, weeks
“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

0

2 months ago

communication, flirt, girl, God, good, humor, irony, skills

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

32 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

31 shares on Discord this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Spotted on X:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Breaking via Pinterest:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Just shared via Slack:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴