When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.