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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has viewed:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

β€œDon’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Just landed via Twitch:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Seen just now on X:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Going viral on Discord:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Live now on Twitch:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Going viral on TikTok:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Spotted on X:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Just shared via Telegram:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

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When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.
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Commentary:
Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! πŸ‘»πŸšοΈπŸ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

34 shares on X this month:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself β€œwhat would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

You can add β€œcha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Going viral on Reddit:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just shared via YouTube:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Going viral on TikTok:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Going viral on Facebook:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Breaking via Reddit:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Trending via Instagram:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Spotted on Reddit:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Making waves on Instagram:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

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