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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,822

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Going viral on Twitch:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Shared recently on Discord:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Just shared via TikTok:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Going viral on Twitch:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Trending via Messenger:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

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When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.
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Commentary:
Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! 👻🏚️😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Discord this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

92 shares on Threads this month:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,916

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Just landed via Telegram:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Making waves on Pinterest:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Going viral on Slack:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Spotted on X:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Broadcasted on X:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Trending via Reddit:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Going viral on Messenger:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

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