Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Live now on Telegram:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Live now on Facebook:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Just shared via Facebook:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Just shared via Instagram:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Seen just now on Facebook:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Just shared via Threads:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they were just really eager to host the world's most confusing potluck! 🍽️🎸🌀

Beatles, humor, interpretation, lyric, lyric interpretation, me, music, over, right, say, song, song lyric, The Beatles, together, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

0

2 months ago

advice, day, forget, health, humor, irony, least, minutes, sarcasm, sun, vitamins, where
Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

0

2 months ago

again, caught, cons, humor, husband, me, observation, pros, relationship, staring
That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

0

2 months ago

couple, diet, humor, January, last, lose, loss, moment, new, new year resolution, passing, procrastination, realize, resolution, still, time, time passing, trying, weeks, weight, weight loss, year
Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

0

2 months ago

asking, conversation, evening, fart, friend, humor, joking, social
I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

0

2 months ago

best, communication, dying, everyone, humor, i, interaction, irony, kill, kindness, personality, sarcasm, social, social interaction
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, irony, life, need, search

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

You give my middle finger an erection.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

64 shares on Threads this month:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Trending via Instagram:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Just shared via WeChat:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Making waves on Telegram:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Just landed via Discord:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Trending via TikTok:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Trending via Reddit:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨