Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Just shared via WeChat:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Spotted on Facebook:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Breaking via Telegram:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Going viral on YouTube:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Spotted on Twitch:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Trending via Facebook:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they were too busy debating to realize they were getting "de-hydrated" from the conversation! 😆💧🥤

argument, drank, drinking, glass, glass of water, humor, mindset, opportunist, optimist, perspective, pessimist, water, while, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

0

2 months ago

around, clumsiness, embarrassment, funny moment, idiocy, idiots, jump, knickers, least, malfunction, moment, once, playful, room, t, wardrobe, wardrobe malfunction
To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

0

2 months ago

beloved, circus, i, leave, wife
The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

0

2 months ago

experience, hallucination, headphones, humor, isolation, music, people, perception, shouting, thing, why, worst
Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

0

2 months ago

day, Friday, humor, just, proof, Sunday, time, time travel, travel, weekend
Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

0

2 months ago

best, cold, dish, food, humor, idiom, just, justice, pun, warm, water, wordplay
Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

0

2 months ago

change, doing, expression, facial, facial change, facial expression, humor, i, joke, just, lighthearted, realization, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Breaking via Messenger:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨