Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Going bananas on Discord:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Just shared via Discord:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Breaking via Instagram:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mondays are like boomerangs—no matter how far I toss them, they keep coming back! 😩🔄😂

again, complaint, day, frustration, hell, humor, keeps, letting, Monday, time, week, workday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, expression, humor, i, introvert, podcast, saying, shy, transformation
Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

0

2 months ago

careful, follow, humor, irony, masses, silent
Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, course, fitness, fitness joke, humor, image, joke, ready, same, sarcasm, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, summer humor, sweat, winter, winter body, winter humor
If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

0

2 months ago

activity, divine, feel, fun, fun activity, God, good, humor, irony, meant, pleasure, procreation, religion, sex, why
You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

0

3 days ago

after, aging, banger, bar, bars, getting, know, music, nostalgia, old, play, radio, radio station, station, stations, supermarket, throwing
Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

0

2 months ago

bright, communication, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, irony, light, people, perception, sound, talk, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Going viral on Telegram:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Making waves on Slack:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Just landed via Twitch:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Making waves on X:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨