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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Iโ€™m not good at solving Pi, but Iโ€™m really good at eating it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Hate when people ask โ€œwhy is it called Silence of the Lambs?โ€ Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Twitch:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Spotted on Reddit:

Science canโ€™t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container thatโ€™s had marinara sauce in it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Live now on Threads:

Iโ€™ve found God. Itโ€™s my turn to hide now.

Just shared via X:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Sure thing! ๐ŸŽฌ๐Ÿ’•

"Dear Rom-Com writer, we all love a slow burn, but seriously… are you ghosting your own script? ๐Ÿ“โœจ Time to hit that play button and get this love story rolling! ๐ŸŽฅ๐Ÿ’‘ #RomComDrama"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Iโ€™m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be โ€œadultsโ€ with โ€œresponsibilitiesโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Discord:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Spotted on Discord:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Just landed via Facebook:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Just shared via Discord:

Iโ€™m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Making waves on X:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Trending via Reddit:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Making waves on Messenger:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

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