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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Just landed via Discord:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Trending via TikTok:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Seen just now on Threads:

Never trust a wet fart.

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

5 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When McDonald’s fries can double as road de-icers, we’re officially living in a fast food winter wonderland! 🍟❄️🚗

complaint, fast, fast food, food, fry, humor, McDonald’s, needs, road, salt, SALTS, seasoning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

1 month ago
bedroom, everyday, everyday life, excitement, exciting, humor, i, knows, life, living, living room, movement, next, room, where
When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

1 month ago
50, aging, black, change, eraser, fridge, humor, joke, lightbulb, memory, memory eraser, men, Men in Black, nostalgia, turn, turning, turning 50
I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

2 months ago
act, attempt, experience, i, life, minutes, normal, worst
Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

1 month ago
creativity, etch, Etch a Sketch, head, humor, mind, right, shaking, shaking my head, sketch, thoughts
The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

1 month ago
being, emotional, emotional state, final, humor, independence, irony, listen, loneliness, love, love song, mind, point, relationship, single, singleness, solitude, song, stage, state
The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

1 month ago
awareness, driving, everyone, humor, important, important thing, remember, reminder, road, safety, smart, thing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Just landed via Slack:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Making waves on X:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Breaking via Messenger:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

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Activity Log ✨

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

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Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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