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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Making waves on Pinterest:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Just shared via X:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Going bananas on Slack:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Going viral on YouTube:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spotted on Instagram:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

3 weeks ago

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When you realize your crypto investment is the financial version of "I can't believe it's not butter!" 🧈😂🚀

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77 shares on Twitch this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

68 shares on Discord this month:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Going viral on Threads:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Breaking via Telegram:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Making waves on Slack:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Just landed via Threads:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Spotted on Messenger:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Live now on Facebook:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

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Activity Log ✨

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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