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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Just shared via Instagram:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Just landed via TikTok:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Just landed via TikTok:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Trending via Instagram:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When parents pop in, I just hope I'm not caught with my secret family… my pile of snacks! 🍿😂🍪

another, catch, cheating, family, humor, invasion, pair, parent, parents, privacy, room, something, trying, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

0

2 months ago

birth, born, brain, great, human, humor, liking, love, relationships, second, someone, soon, start, works
Salary week, but salary weak.

0

4 months ago

humor, money, paycheck, pun, salary, week
I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

0

5 months ago

actually, coping, coping mechanism, got, heal, healing, humor, i, mechanism, people, psychology, revenge, think, trauma
Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

0

2 months ago

anything, data, data sale, data tracking, email, email spam, internet, internet security, know, middle, middle name, name, online, online signup, privacy, pro, pro-tip, put, sale, security, sign, signup, sold, spam, tip, tracking, website, website name, websites
My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

0

2 months ago

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son
If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

0

2 months ago

dog, humor, i, me, order, pet, photos, relationship, restraining, restraining order, sleeping

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

76 shares on Slack this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Live now on Facebook:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Live now on Reddit:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Going viral on Pinterest:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Salary week, but salary weak.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨