Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Seen just now on Discord:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Spotted on Twitch:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's just the universe's way of tugging at your patience! 🤪🚪👗

bad, bad mood, caught, clothes, coincidence, door, door handle, everyday, everyday life, frustration, handle, humor, life, mishap, mood, only, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

0

2 months ago

always, authenticity, humor, i, irony, know, life, media, motivational, people, posts, real, relationships, social, social media, toxic
Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

0

2 months ago

back, change, clothing, fashion, giving, giving back, guy, humor, jeans, joke, skinny, society, style, taking, wardrobe, wardrobe change
“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

0

2 months ago

favorite, favorite phrase, favourite, humor, literal, literal meaning, literally, meaning, phrase, phrases, point, sometimes, wordplay
Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

0

6 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, communication, conversation, humor, mistake, moment, nothing, person, regret, venting, worse, wrong
Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, imagination, imagine, joke, move, nose, Pinocchio, puppet, roasting, satire, straight
Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

0

2 months ago

ads, buying, buying power, comparison, economy, humor, i, irony, milkmaid, power, Victorian

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Spotted on X:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Spotted on Facebook:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Trending via YouTube:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Just shared via Facebook:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Live now on Messenger:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Seen just now on Discord:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨