Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Just shared via Snapchat:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Spotted on Threads:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Spotted on Telegram:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Just landed via Reddit:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's just the universe's way of tugging at your patience! 🤪🚪👗

bad, bad mood, caught, clothes, coincidence, door, door handle, everyday, everyday life, frustration, handle, humor, life, mishap, mood, only, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

0

2 months ago

answer, email, emails, frustration, humor, i, outer, planet, rock, space, spinning, work
My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

0

2 months ago

cat, cult, humor, i, just, pay, pet, pet humor, rent, runs, secret, secret cult
My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, funny situation, humor, i, making, mobility, noise, over, people, run, screaming, screaming noise, situation, wheelchair
Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

0

2 months ago

comedy, convenience, cooking, food, humor, jump, recipe, technology, teleportation, thing
Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

0

2 months ago

believe, cartoon, childhood, ever, fear, humor, i, imagination, led, me, movement, place, quick, quick movement, run, running, scare, scared, Scooby Doo, should
I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

0

2 months ago

chair, climbing, die, drink, drinking, dying, Fanta, hill, humor, laziness, orange, relaxation, sounds, terrible

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

81 shares on WeChat this month:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

99 shares on Slack this month:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Spotted on YouTube:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Just shared via Slack:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Trending via Snapchat:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨