Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Making waves on WeChat:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

Going viral on Threads:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we better start stocking up on pepperoni just in case the mosquitoes decide to swap their bloodlust for a slice obsession! 🍕🦟

blood, cravings, end, ever, fantasy, food, funny thought, human, humor, insects, mosquito, obsession, pizza, pursuit, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Threads this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

11 shares on X this month:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

20 shares on Telegram this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

29 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

45 shares on Slack this month:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

60 shares on Discord this month:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Going bananas on Discord:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Going viral on Discord:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Making waves on Instagram:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Just shared via Slack:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Spotted on Slack:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨