Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Spotted on TikTok:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Spotted on Threads:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Just shared via Facebook:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Live now on Reddit:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Spotted on Facebook:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about confidence with a playful dog-sitting joke, humorous and lighthearted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Survival of the fittest… or just the fluffiest! 🐾😅

another, care, dog, dog sitter, fool, hire, humor, pet, pet care, rate, sitter, survival, survival rate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Making waves on Snapchat:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Trending via YouTube:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Going viral on Discord:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Making waves on Reddit:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Grok, put light in her eyes.

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Grok, put light in her eyes.

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨