Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,848

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Shared recently on Slack:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Fitted sheets: the ultimate relationship training ground! 😂🛌💪

comparison, cooperation, fitted, fitted sheet, hard, humor, just, matter, never, relationship, sheet, try, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

0

2 months ago

activity, babe, book, books, concern, fun, fun activity, okay, reading, relationship, unread, unread book
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

0

2 months ago

food, fruit, funny observation, fur, humor, kiwi, misunderstanding, observation, potato, thought, time
People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

0

2 months ago

being, everyday, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, own, people, remind, self-care, solitude, why
Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

0

5 months ago

Bob, Bob Ross, forest, humor, minutes, myself, paint, ross, self, self-improvement, still, unfinished, work, work on self, working
Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, irony, joke, problem, relatable, sharing, silence, suffer
If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, humor, keep, loyal, loyal woman, man, relationship, reply, trying, woman, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Breaking via YouTube:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Breaking via Twitch:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Going viral on Instagram:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Just shared via Slack:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨