Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Spotted on Discord:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Trending via Discord:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Trending via YouTube:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Making waves on TikTok:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Spotted on Messenger:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Waiting for the day those skinny jeans magically transform into stretchy sweatpants 🤔👖 #TheStruggleIsReal"

body, body image, expectation, fashion, humor, image, jean, jeans, kick, skinny, skinny jean, skinny jeans, style

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

0

1 month ago

crowd, grocery, grocery store, humor, impatience, me, people, same, shopping, store, time
My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, favorite, favorite thing, introvert, leisure, nothing, relaxation, solitude, thing, time
Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

0

1 month ago

activity, family, gentle, gentle parenting, hear, humor, kids, kids activity, making, mango, parenting, parenting humor, peeling, say, sure
Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

0

1 month ago

entertainment, humor, listen, Netflix, relationship, subtitle, watch, women
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

0

1 month ago

humor, i, ready, request, start, time, weekend
I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

0

1 month ago

balance, delusion, delusional, enjoy, enjoyment, give, humor, irony, life, little, self-awareness, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on X this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Muting morons is good for your health.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

18 shares on X this month:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

68 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The world started without permission again.

Just shared via Threads:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Seen just now on Discord:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Live now on Telegram:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Trending via Pinterest:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨