Trendy Funny Quotes

  • In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.
  • I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.
  • I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.
  • Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.
  • My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
  • So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.