Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When my boss emails, I pretend it's spam while adding a new pair of socks to my cart! 🧦📬😂

coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, being, communication, else, humor, i, lol, nothing, say, thanks
The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

0

2 months ago

adulting, aging, humor, i, lifestyle, motivation, older, procrastination, self-awareness, things, want
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

0

2 months ago

airport, airport security, drug, drugs, example, humor, i, joke, people, sarcasm, security, take
Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

0

2 months ago

addiction, checking, daily, daily routine, day, every, hell, humor, internet, microdosing, routine, sarcasm, web
Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

0

2 months ago

after, challenge, child, fruit, fruits, great, humor, name, names, naming, real, vegetable
Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

0

2 months ago

crack, dark, funny injury, glow, humor, humorous, humorous moment, i, injury, joke, just, knee, knee crack, light, light joke, loud, loud sound, moment, noise, physical, physical humor, sound, unexpected, unexpected noise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Making waves on TikTok:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Shared recently on Slack:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Making waves on YouTube:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Going viral on Twitch:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨