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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Trending via Pinterest:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Going viral on Facebook:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine empath levels so high, even my phone has an auto-hang-up button! 📞🤣🧘"

911, 911 operator, call, call center, center, emergency, empath, hanging, humor, job, job struggle, me, operator, overwhelmed, screaming, someone, struggle, work, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

0

2 months ago

appear, appearance, came, chicken, debate, egg, humor, just, matter, philosophy, question, still, thing, weird
Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

0

2 months ago

able, another, behavior, being, celebrity, gossip, jobless, jobless behavior, media, notice, observation, seriously, social, social media, unfollow
A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

0

2 months ago

couple, humor, know, life, marriage, problem, problems, relationship, single, solving, together
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

0

5 months ago

container, containers, gift, hold, humor, i, joke, know, love, much, relationship, smaller, women
Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

0

2 months ago

apple, coder, humor, jobs, just, prompt, steve, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, technology, vibe, wozniak
That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

0

2 months ago

adventure, gap, humor, i, job, lost, resume, sailing, sea

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

88 shares on X this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

27 shares on Threads this month:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Going viral on Messenger:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Going bananas on Slack:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Trending via Threads:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Just shared via Threads:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨