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Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

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Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

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What an embarrassing time to be alive.

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Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

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The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,635

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Trending via Pinterest:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Breaking via Discord:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Spreading quickly via X:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Live now on Instagram:

The shitshow must go on.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, a box with a 20-year retirement plan! 🗃️📦✨ Who knew cardboard could be so future-focused? 😂 #BoxGoals"

20, attic, box, humor, humor about unused items, i, items, keep, long-term, next, nice, preservation, sarcasm, should, storage, unused

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

5 months ago
bed, bedtime, cause, going, humor, i, laziness, mischief, night, procrastination, tonight
Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

1 month ago
anyone, brain, brain surgery, ChatGPT, else, humor, irony, medical, middle, neurosurgeon, stress, surgery, technology
Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

1 month ago
beauty, beauty product, caffeine, hair, humor, joke, morning, morning routine, product, routine, shampoo, used, work
The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

2 months ago
backstory, horror, live, mood, October, seaside, seaside town, seasonal, seasonal mood, sleepy, sleepy town, small, small town, spooky, spooky vibe, town, urge, vibe
I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

1 month ago
annoy, change, furniture, home, humor, husband, i, people, rearrange, relationship, tell, things
Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

1 month ago
before, coffee, humor, morning, morning routine, personality, real, real you, routine

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Making waves on TikTok:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Going viral on Pinterest:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Trending via Telegram:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

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Activity Log ✨

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

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Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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