Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Live now on Snapchat:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Making waves on Discord:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Live now on Pinterest:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess you could say warfare really is taking an ad-vanced approach these days! 🎮🔫😂

15-second, ad, culture, fire, game, humor, i, internet, internet culture, legends, raid, Raid Shadow Legends, shadow, unskippable, video, video game, war, watch, weapon, WW3

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, coping, health, humor, me, mental, mental health, overwhelmed, point, self-care, stress
My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

0

2 months ago

ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something
Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

0

2 months ago

before, crazy, i, me, psychiatrist, question, seeing, start
I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

0

2 months ago

angry, found, funny observation, humor, i, observation, people, pole, statistics, survey, tent
We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

0

2 months ago

beavis, butthead, humor, ignore, name, shock, shocked, strangeness, wordplay
Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

0

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

59 shares on Threads this month:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

64 shares on X this month:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Just landed via WeChat:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Just shared via Discord:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Just landed via Telegram:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Making waves on X:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨