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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Trending via Reddit:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Live now on Messenger:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Trending via Telegram:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Breaking via Telegram:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Just shared via Reddit:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

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Commentary:
"Talking to myself is like having a meeting with the smartest person I know 🧠💬…even if they do tend to disagree with me a lot! 🤣 #BrainstormingSolo"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on X this month:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

79 shares on X this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Just landed via Pinterest:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Just landed via Reddit:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Just landed via TikTok:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Going viral on WeChat:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

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