Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Live now on Messenger:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Just shared via YouTube:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Just shared via Slack:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Seen just now on Facebook:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Making waves on Instagram:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I upload pictures with filters for my online persona; my home is where the unfiltered reality show starts! 📷✨🏠😅

filter, good, honesty, house, humor, i, look good, me, photo, photos, side, ugly, ugly side, want, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

0

2 months ago

around, bike, exercise, hate, having, humor, i, pick, pick-up, return, return trip, stationary, stationary bike, thing, trip, turn, turn around, workout
Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, mad, media, online, online reactions, people, pic, pizza, post, reactions, social, social media, Twitter
I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

0

2 months ago

always, buy, happy, home, humor, i, me, note, reminder, retail, retail therapy, shopping, table, therapy, wanted
My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

0

5 months ago

back, bed, humor, just, me, morning, morning routine, motivation, myself, procrastination, routine, self, self-motivation, sleep, waking, waking up
They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

0

2 months ago

big, comedy, end, entertainment, film, humor, movie, put, scene, sex, sex scene, show, suggestion, super, supercut, theater, year, year-end
I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, ever, everyone, experience, feel, hamster, humor, i, kind, pet, traumatic, traumatic experience

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

70 shares on Twitch this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

87 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Spotted on Slack:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Spotted on Telegram:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Just shared via Reddit:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Trending via Twitch:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Making waves on TikTok:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Breaking via Messenger:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Making waves on Threads:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Making waves on Reddit:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨