Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Making waves on Twitch:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Spotted on Facebook:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Just shared via Slack:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I upload pictures with filters for my online persona; my home is where the unfiltered reality show starts! 📷✨🏠😅

filter, good, honesty, house, humor, i, look good, me, photo, photos, side, ugly, ugly side, want, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting
Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

0

2 months ago

afford, commitment, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, making, me, money, panic, relationship, right, stop, wedding
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, i, sh, shopping, sit, sit down, tired
“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

0

2 months ago

awkward, conversation, humor, i, nice, oh, ourself, room, round, say, social, thought, wrong
You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

0

2 months ago

body, chest, cleavage, double, double entendre, entendre, humor, play, play on words, store, treasure, wordplay, words
A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, etiquette, fun, fun activity, gentleman, humor, machine, neatness, shaking, vending, vending machine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Twitch this month:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

We’ve got a shituation here.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

32 shares on Slack this month:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Live now on YouTube:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Making waves on Messenger:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨