Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Just shared via Reddit:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Trending via YouTube:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Seen just now on X:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
2020 called; it wants its portal key back, and no thanks, I’m good without the brimstone decor! 🔥😅👹

2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

0

3 months ago

account, bank, bank account, Christmas, finance, getting, gift, holiday, humor, just, looks, money, spending, well, well wish, wish, wishes
Time needs a speed limit.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, life, limit, needs, philosophy, speed, time
I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

0

3 months ago

asking, child, feeding, feeds, feel, food, healing, i, inner, inner child, kindness, me, sharing, someone, surprise
James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

0

7 hours ago

bond, businessman, destroying, destruction, Earth, happiness, happy, hobby, james, James Bond, life, money, threat, world
I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

0

2 months ago

backpack, bed, big, comfort, difference, guy, humor, i, let, once, relationship, short, short guy, size, size difference, spoon
Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

0

2 months ago

cowgirl, humor, i, media, position, post, reverse, reverse cowgirl, selfie, sexual, sexual position, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

60 shares on X this month:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

12 shares on Twitch this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

15 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Going bananas on X:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Just landed via Instagram:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Just shared via X:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Live now on YouTube:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Time needs a speed limit.

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨