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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Trending via Reddit:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Just landed via YouTube:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Breaking via X:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Making waves on Messenger:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Shared recently on Discord:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Trending via Instagram:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When your cat has achieved boss-level status, but you haven't 😂🐱👑

attitude, cat, humor, independence, me, pet, rebellion, sarcasm, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

2 months ago

after, gut, humor, inner, inner voice, intuition, listen, regret, resentment, self, self-doubt, voice, yourself
Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

1 month ago

appearance, funny thought, good, haircut, humor, i, life, self-reflection, sometimes, thought, wonder
According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

2 weeks ago

am, got, humor, i, most, music, play, played, self-reference, Spotify, wrapped, year
Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

3 months ago

activity, forget, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery list, home, i, list, little, memory, organization, shopping, sometimes, take, thing, time, where
I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

5 months ago

coffee, escape, exhaustion, forever, hug, humor, i, just, live, need, self-care, solitude, stress, tell, woods
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

1 month ago

AI, coming, future, humor, i, irony, jobs, love, technology, unemployed, unemployment, workforce

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

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Activity Log ✨

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

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You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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