You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

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I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

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The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

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I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

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At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

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And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

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Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

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I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

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Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

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I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

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I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.