Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
“Beware the liquid eyeliner—it’s like an emotional ninja stealthily waiting for your moment of weakness. Stay calm, stay steady, or you’ll end up with a spider’s web on your eyelids! 😱👁️💧🤣”

act, around, beauty, beauty product, calm, confidence, cool, cosmetics, eyeliner, fear, humor, liquid, makeup, product, sense

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

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2 months ago

cleaner, dark, electricity, house, humor, keep, looks, save
Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

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2 months ago

galgebra, girl, girl math, humor, joke, math, pun, wordplay
Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

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2 months ago

apples, bag, careful, fitness, grocery, heavy, humor, journey, just, market, me, relationship, update, wife
Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

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4 days ago

date, different, funny date, Hooters, humor, joke, night, night off, restaurant, taking, waitress
Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, call, communication, dating, girlfriend, hello, humor, love, me, relationship
Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

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2 months ago

angel, example, heaven, humor, joke, life, me, office, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

96 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

47 shares on Threads this month:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

16 shares on X this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

97 shares on X this month:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Breaking via Threads:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Just landed via X:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Spotted on TikTok:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Seen just now on Threads:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Just landed via Facebook:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Making waves on Facebook:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Breaking via YouTube:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Breaking via Telegram:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨