You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.