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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Spotted on Threads:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Just shared via Messenger:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just shared via X:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Shared recently on TikTok:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your buddy hits the jackpot and suddenly everyone else turns into 'gold medal' friends! 🥇🏆🤣 #OlympicLevelDigging"

achievement, digger, friend, friendship, gold, gold digger, group, humor, male, male friend, male group, only, seen, success, think, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

0

5 months ago

advice, avoid, break, couple, days, fun, news, pro, pro-tip, relaxation, tip
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

0

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, hobby, humor, i, multitasking, noise, phone, scroll, scrolling, TV, using, while
Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, every, fart, humor, interaction, panic, panic room, reaction, room, situation, social, social interaction, someone
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

0

5 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying
The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

0

2 months ago

being, call, difference, dog, humor, kid, main, name, parenting, pet, response
Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

0

4 months ago

buy, cake, celebration, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, purchase, reason, remember, special, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

78 shares on Slack this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Going viral on Facebook:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Going viral on X:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Just landed via TikTok:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨