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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Just shared via Twitch:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Trending via Instagram:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Trending via Messenger:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

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Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.
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Commentary:
"Your honor, I just wanted a hug, not a sentence! 😆⚖️ #LegalLaughter"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on TikTok this month:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

56 shares on X this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Making waves on Discord:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Just shared via Discord:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Breaking via Facebook:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Going viral on Messenger:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Just landed via Discord:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Spotted on Threads:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Seen just now on Threads:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

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