Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.
  • I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.
  • If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).
  • Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.
  • Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.
  • Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.