Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.