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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Just shared via TikTok:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Live now on YouTube:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about friendship boundaries, humorously highlighting coworker relationships.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to file him under "acquaintance" in the friend directory 😂📂🤝

best, boyfriend, coworker, dynamics, friend, friends, friendship, humor, relationship, social, social dynamics, workplace

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Trending via Snapchat:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Spotted on Twitch:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Live now on Facebook:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨